May 21, 2012.
Daily Miles: n/a Total Miles: n/a Hours Hiking: n/a 0:00am -0:00pm
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May 21st. I'm hitting Davis coming back
from the Bay Area, from visiting Jeanette and I'm finally getting
close back to 'home', Scott's. It's just one of those...I keep
thinking over questions people have asked me, or will ask me and some
of them are just the simple question like 'Why do you want to do
this?'. And, I've played with the idea of why for a while...and I've
come up with 2 answers. One is the kind of short, flippant answer of
'because it's there!' I mean what other reason is there to do
anything in life...the trail is there, I can do it, I've done it
once, so why not do it fast? It's actually a direct theft of a quote
from George Mallory in the 1920's when a reporter asked him 'Why do
you want to climb Mt. Everest?' and his answer was 'Because it's
there.' And I think it's quite apt, but the long answer is really
that... I want to test myself. I've done it once before. I want to
find out where my limits are and just exactly what I can do. The
record itself isn't necessarily the objective, it is the bar against
which I can measure myself and see how well I do compared to others.
And if I make my personal goal of completing it in under 60 days,
then that's something I feel is remarkable, and the fact that it
actually breaks the current record is something that shows me that
I've done something that no one else has done yet. Not to say that it
will never be broken, I not that naive, someone else will set that as
their goal and do exactly what I'm thinking of doing right now. So
it's just one of those things, it will take a person of similar
character, similar willpower to endure 60 days of just extreme
physical activity and the mental capacity to keep pushing and keep
pushing and to not let the day-to-day life ruin you. Another question
I've thought of is, 'Did you have fun, did you enjoy it?' And,
day-to-day, I can only assume, that no, I will not enjoy it. I mean
some days will be good, some days will be bad, it's just one of those
things that, just like life, some days you have a good day, some days
you have a bad day. I really look at it from past experiences.
Certain days you can do a 15-16 hour day where you go 14 hours and
have a terrible day and then all of a sudden you crest some little
ridge or something and you see the most spectacular sunset ever and
that day just became a good day. All of the suffering and not fun
part of the day - the heat, the miles, the sun, whatever, it all
evaporates at that point and you are thankful you are exactly where
you are at that moment. The same goes the other way. You can have a
great day then something goes wrong and whether it's you running out
of energy or losing something, or whatever, your day just takes that
turn. But overall, I really feel like I am going to enjoy it... just
because it's physically demanding and a ridiculous feat in itself
doesn't exclude the fact that I am trying to accomplish something
that I have set. Having a goal that I want to do, and in so
accomplishing it, or trying to, I will enjoy it. If I didn't enjoy
it, why would I even be considering it? *laughs* This isn't one of
those things that is going to be for fame or fortune...out of all of
the things.... I mean very few people wouldn't want those things, and
I'd love recognition for it, that'd be great. But am I expecting it?
No. Am I going to get any from it? No. So few people really know
about the Pacific Crest Trail that this record is just really for
people that are of like mind and care about the trail. Maybe there
will be some newspaper article, but that's really it. I don't plan or
even expect to be any kind of famous. This is, as in any
personal...any goal, any record, they are really personal, it's not
something that's for everybody, it's for you, that you can do the
fastest thing, that you can be the best. It seems a little selfish,
but that's what it is. It's for you; it's not for anyone else. The
moment it becomes for somebody else, it's really not what you want to
do. I don't think it's necessarily enjoyable, the record itself
wouldn't be enjoyable for you, the record for others and the
admiration they give you, that's what you'd be going for and not the
actual physical part. So, you know these are just things that I've
been thinking about, and I'll have plenty of time to be thinking
about such things while on trail. Time goes by, and you get to
examine more and more about yourself. We make so many decisions in
our lives that are split second and don't put a lot of thought behind
them, and whatever decision was made, it occurs and you never think
about it again. But, I've had plenty of time to kind of sit back and
really try to analyze why am I doing this, what for, because it is
such a...tremendous feat if I do pull it off. No one has done it
before in under 60 days—it is 2660 miles. I am going to try to hike
an average of 42 miles a day. It's really just one of those things
that... *laughs*... is hard... I'm going to have to suffer. There is
going to be some pain. There are going to be some non-fun areas, but
when I am done, I am going to look back and say 'that was hard, but
it was worth it.' And that is all I can hope for.
