Sunday, December 2, 2012

Pre-Hike: May 21, 2012

May 21, 2012.

Daily Miles: n/a     Total Miles: n/a     Hours Hiking: n/a     0:00am -0:00pm

Listen to the audio journal above or Download May 21st Audio File Here

May 21st. I'm hitting Davis coming back from the Bay Area, from visiting Jeanette and I'm finally getting close back to 'home', Scott's. It's just one of those...I keep thinking over questions people have asked me, or will ask me and some of them are just the simple question like 'Why do you want to do this?'. And, I've played with the idea of why for a while...and I've come up with 2 answers. One is the kind of short, flippant answer of 'because it's there!' I mean what other reason is there to do anything in life...the trail is there, I can do it, I've done it once, so why not do it fast? It's actually a direct theft of a quote from George Mallory in the 1920's when a reporter asked him 'Why do you want to climb Mt. Everest?' and his answer was 'Because it's there.' And I think it's quite apt, but the long answer is really that... I want to test myself. I've done it once before. I want to find out where my limits are and just exactly what I can do. The record itself isn't necessarily the objective, it is the bar against which I can measure myself and see how well I do compared to others. And if I make my personal goal of completing it in under 60 days, then that's something I feel is remarkable, and the fact that it actually breaks the current record is something that shows me that I've done something that no one else has done yet. Not to say that it will never be broken, I not that naive, someone else will set that as their goal and do exactly what I'm thinking of doing right now. So it's just one of those things, it will take a person of similar character, similar willpower to endure 60 days of just extreme physical activity and the mental capacity to keep pushing and keep pushing and to not let the day-to-day life ruin you. Another question I've thought of is, 'Did you have fun, did you enjoy it?' And, day-to-day, I can only assume, that no, I will not enjoy it. I mean some days will be good, some days will be bad, it's just one of those things that, just like life, some days you have a good day, some days you have a bad day. I really look at it from past experiences. Certain days you can do a 15-16 hour day where you go 14 hours and have a terrible day and then all of a sudden you crest some little ridge or something and you see the most spectacular sunset ever and that day just became a good day. All of the suffering and not fun part of the day - the heat, the miles, the sun, whatever, it all evaporates at that point and you are thankful you are exactly where you are at that moment. The same goes the other way. You can have a great day then something goes wrong and whether it's you running out of energy or losing something, or whatever, your day just takes that turn. But overall, I really feel like I am going to enjoy it... just because it's physically demanding and a ridiculous feat in itself doesn't exclude the fact that I am trying to accomplish something that I have set. Having a goal that I want to do, and in so accomplishing it, or trying to, I will enjoy it. If I didn't enjoy it, why would I even be considering it? *laughs* This isn't one of those things that is going to be for fame or fortune...out of all of the things.... I mean very few people wouldn't want those things, and I'd love recognition for it, that'd be great. But am I expecting it? No. Am I going to get any from it? No. So few people really know about the Pacific Crest Trail that this record is just really for people that are of like mind and care about the trail. Maybe there will be some newspaper article, but that's really it. I don't plan or even expect to be any kind of famous. This is, as in any personal...any goal, any record, they are really personal, it's not something that's for everybody, it's for you, that you can do the fastest thing, that you can be the best. It seems a little selfish, but that's what it is. It's for you; it's not for anyone else. The moment it becomes for somebody else, it's really not what you want to do. I don't think it's necessarily enjoyable, the record itself wouldn't be enjoyable for you, the record for others and the admiration they give you, that's what you'd be going for and not the actual physical part. So, you know these are just things that I've been thinking about, and I'll have plenty of time to be thinking about such things while on trail. Time goes by, and you get to examine more and more about yourself. We make so many decisions in our lives that are split second and don't put a lot of thought behind them, and whatever decision was made, it occurs and you never think about it again. But, I've had plenty of time to kind of sit back and really try to analyze why am I doing this, what for, because it is such a...tremendous feat if I do pull it off. No one has done it before in under 60 days—it is 2660 miles. I am going to try to hike an average of 42 miles a day. It's really just one of those things that... *laughs*... is hard... I'm going to have to suffer. There is going to be some pain. There are going to be some non-fun areas, but when I am done, I am going to look back and say 'that was hard, but it was worth it.' And that is all I can hope for.